 Hey Kings & Queens, I wondered why everyone kept praying over distractions in my life for 2022, and now I know why.... What do you think of when I say the word "distraction?" To me distractions are frustrations, annoyances, drama, etc. I never thought it would be the EXACT opposite. Now that I am 28 (happy birthday to me!) I feel a huge sense urgency to get married, have kids, and start a family. In order to do that, I need to open space in my life for dating right? Can't have a family without FIRST meeting the Prince Charming lol. So, I took a 6-9 month break from dating to pray & focus. I wanted to hear God's voice versus my flesh when it comes to dating. I definitely jumped the gun and started dating a little earlier than 9 months (I cheated lol). Guess who I met? Prince Charming right? No. Maybe........Prince Harming.... Tall, dark, and handsome! Mind you, they were definitely wealthy, established and very neat. I'm sure you're wondering "where's the distraction?" Just wait, it's coming! Dating takes time, effort and work! I started adjusting my schedule, hanging out more and more and going out of my way to make the relationship work. Cute! All fun and flirtation. Then came the
I didn't realize until listening to RC Blakes that I may be in (not anymore after writing this blog) a narcissistic relationship. Wow! Me of all people. I have degrees in Psychology and Social Work (mental health based), I know my identity, I know my worth and what I deserve. How did I fall into a distraction like this?! What? How? Me? Now what? "Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others" Whenever I'm in weird uncomfortable situations, I think of 2 things. 1: How can I grow and learn from this? 2: If one of my girls (mentees) were in this situation, what would I tell them to do? So, after listening to RC Blakes, I realized that it's possible because my husband is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, I'm getting impatient. Also, the imposters and counterfeit men are increasing! Especially since I am becoming more known in the community. Everyone is like "heeeyyyy" or sliding into my DM's lol. Although I would rather not be single anymore, I refuse to let a man attempt to degrade me, belittle me, take advantage of me and bring unnecessary stress and drama! NO MA'AM! NO SIR! "I can see clearly now" that I need to continue onto my single journey until God makes it very clear that He has chosen a specific man to pursue Kingdom Purpose WITH. Not pursue drama, stress, premarital sex, negativity and things that will damage my self image. I thought narcissistic relationships were becoming so cliche and overrated until I actually experienced it! If you are in a narcissistic relationship, don't be embarrassed (because I understand how you could be. I am a little too.) because someone needs your story! Don't feel like you need to be 100% committed to that person despite your own sanity, comfort, and self image. You don't owe them anything. Don't stay because of the kids, don't stay because you don't want to be alone, don't stay because y'all look good together.... Love yourself. Value yourself. Get what you need. Therapy. Counseling. A hang out date with a close mentor or role model. Every relationship is a direct reflection of what we accept and allow into our lives. Not everything we accept is good for ourselves. I am definitely going to sit down and do some heart work after writing this blog. We're all human. We're all learning & growing. Thanks for reading this blog post. If you made it to the end, please say a prayer for me & definitely email me if you need prayer from me also (: Love you all! <3 Shameka Inspire. Motivate. Empower.
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